Messed up

THIS ^

Have you ever held on for so long just to be left broken and rip apart at the end ?

Yep, the truth hurts and may leave you in scars but you know what is worse than that ?

The recovery stage.

It's pure purgatory. All the nights of sad songs, cursing, blanket coiling and sobbings. You just lie down and thought about all the good times, the future that you could have with her. Heck, you can even remember every detail of her when you close your eyes. Her hair, her smile, her scent, the way she laughs, the way she dances with her head whenever she ate something good. Everything. And then you put your earphones on and put your phone on shuffle. Hearing all those stupid love songs that once meant everything to you. That stupid Thunder song by Boys Like Girls. And then you go on and deleted all of those stupid songs that reminded you of her with the hopes that the memories died with those songs.

Done with the songs, you turned on your laptop and went online. Things get ugly then. You went on Facebook only to be reminded that she went from being 'single' into 'in a relationship'. Dumbstruck, you went on Twitter, seeing all of your friends having some conversation with her and there you are, yearning to have a word with her but you just can't. After that, you logged on to your Tumblr and then felt bad about yourself. Your Tumblr was full of messages, unexpressed words, unsaid feelings toward her. You remembered how much of a fool of you back then.

Time passed, and you thought that you have found acceptance. You thought that you were at peace with the reality. And then, BOOM! Reality hits you. Seeing her smile and knowing that you would never be the reason behind her smiles, behind her happiness. You thought to yourself, how can she be happy when you're here trying your darnest just to drag your feet to class, just to fake a smile. You then realized that the illusion of your acceptance was shattered and realized that both of you will never have a closure of any sort. You just went on and live the rest of your life in misery.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

The cycle continues.